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50 Best WandaVision Quotes on Disney Plus

Have you seen WandaVision on Disney+? It’s so different than the typical Marvel and MCU! It’s funny and weird. The quirkiest WandaVision quotes make me laugh, but they also reveal some WandaVision spoilers later on down the line. These are some of the best quotes from WandaVision from characters Wanda, Vision, Agnes, Monica, Agent Woo, and more!


Best WandaVision Quotes on DisneyPlus

The best WandaVision quote is the theme song! It’s so good!

WandaVision takes place after Avengers Endgame, and we get all kinds of info on past and future characters. I’ll update this quotes list from WandaVision as each episode airs on DisneyPlus. So there are some potential spoilers if you’re not up to date.

Wanda and Vision are married and trying to fit in, but things aren’t always as they appear. Insert ominous music.

Agnes really delivers the funniest lines and makes me chuckle every time. Also, remember Geraldine is really Monica Rambeau who was Maria Rambeau’s daughter in Captain Marvel. 

Check out this WandaVision Parents Guide to see the age recommendations.

Ohhh a newlywed couple just moved to town, a regular husband and wife, who left the big city to find a quiet life, Wandavision! She’s a magical gal in a small-town locale. He’s a hubby who’s part machine. How will this duo fit in and fulfill all? Oh by sharing a love like you’ve never seen…Wandavision. -Theme Song

My wife and her flying saucers… -Vision
My husband and his indestructible head.  -Wanda
Aren’t we a fine pair? -Vision

Is WandaVision kid friendly?

What’s your name? Where you from? Most importantly, how’s your bridge game, hun? -Agnes

Let me tell you what Ralph could really use is how to goose your wife so you don’t lose your wife. -Agnes

How very atmospheric. -Mrs. Hart

And that dress… -Mrs. Hart
Yes, it’s so, so…kovian. -Vision

Do you think Wanda needs help in the kitchen? We haven’t any tidbits or tartlets out here, nary a pig in a blanket. -Mrs. Hart

We are an unusual couple you know. -Wanda
Oh I don’t think that was ever in question. -Vision

Oh this is gonna be a gas! -Agnes

Agnes Quotes WandaVision

Hey, the music isn’t bothering you, is it pal? -Norm
In terms of distraction from work or the largely nonsensical nature of the lyrics? -Vision
The first one. -Norm

Are you using your night vision, Vision? -Wanda

This is our home now. I want us to fit in. -Wanda

How is anyone doing this sober? -Agnes

My understanding is that it’s purely for mastication. -Vision
Oh, no I don’t do that. -Herb

I’ve been feeling weirdy all day. -Vision

Vision Quotes in WandaVision

Señor scratchy just loves the stage. He played Baby Jesus in last year’s Christmas pageant. -Agnes

Wanda, can I give you a bit of friendly advice? -Agnes
Is it about the way I’m dressed? -Wanda
Yes, but it’s too late for that. -Agnes

Today, we will lie to you, and yet you will believe our little deceptions, because human beings are easily fooled due to their limited understanding of the inner workings of the universe. -Vision

It wasn’t so hard to fit in after all. -Wanda
And all we had to do was be ourselves. -Vision
Well, with a few modifications. -Wanda
And it was all..For the children. 

I can’t wait to be a proud papa-ya. -Vision

Oh you’re faaaancy. -Geraldine

We just don’t know what to expect. Will the baby be human or synthezoid? Little bit of both? -Wanda

Don’t you want to meet your baby boy as yourself? -Wanda

I’m a chemical engineer. -Agent
Noone cares. -Darcy

We got the full clown car here. -Darcy

So you’re saying the universe created a sitcom starring two Avengers? -Agent Woo

You can’t take an entire town hostage. -Director Hayward
Well I’m not the ones with the guns, director. -Wanda

She recast Pietro? -Darcy

Are you old red riding hood? -Tommy
I’m a Sokovian fortune teller. -Wanda

I know you have a thing for Mexican wrestlers. -Vision

Should we surf the internet?
Cowabunga, dude. -Norm

Don’t use the last 5 years as an excuse to be a coward. -Monica

Fussy babies meet buns of steel. We dare you to stay awake.  -Agnes

Unleash hell, demon spawn. -Pietro

WandaVision Quotes Pietro

If Wanda is the problem, she has to be our solution. -Monica

It’s not like your dead husband can die twice. -Pietro

Can I help you creeper? -Darcy

I put in for the Bearded Lady, but this alabaster complexion wasn’t fooling anyone. -Darcy

She was literally one split end from cutting her own bangs. -Agnes

Vision is made from vibranium, they literally inherited tough skin. -Wanda

You try telling a 10-year-old that his mother is cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. -Agnes

Wanda, Wanda, Wanda, you didn’t think you were the only magical girl in town, did you? -Agatha

Best Agatha Quotes WandaVision

That accent really comes and goes, doesn’t it? -Agatha

Magic on autopilot. What’s your secret, sister? -Agatha

The only way forward is back. -Agatha

But what is grief, if not love persevering? -Vision

This is chaos magic, Wanda, and that makes you the Scarlet Witch. -Agatha

I take power from the undeserving. It’s kinda my thing. -Agatha

Vision, this is our home. -Wanda
Then let’s fight for it. -Vision

Meow, she’s feisty. -Pietro

Listen boys, your mother and I never prepared you for this. -Vision
But you were born for this. -Wanda

We’ve said goodbye before, so it stands to reason… -Vision
We’ll say hello again. -Wanda

Did I miss any of your favorite quotes? Drop them in the comments below!

If you need a refresher on what Avengers movies to watch before WandaVision, here’s a Marvel movies list in order! And if you’re in the Orlando area, get a WandaVision cake from Disney Springs.

WandaVision Poster


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