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Best Quotes from Only Murders in the Building on Hulu

Have you seen Only Murders in the Building on Hulu? This true crime murder comedy has some funny and witty lines. Enjoy the best Only Murders in the Building quotes from Mabel, Charles, and Oliver. 

Best Quotes Only Murders in the Building

Best Only Murders in the Building Quotes

Only Murders in the Building stars Selena Gomez, Steve Martin, and Martin Short as three strangers who share an obsession with true crime and suddenly find themselves wrapped up in one. When a gnarly death occurs inside their exclusive Upper West Side apartment building, the trio suspects murder and employs their precise knowledge of true crime to investigate the truth. Perhaps even more explosive are the lies they tell one another. Soon, the endangered trio comes to realize a killer might be living among them as they race to decipher the mounting clues before it’s too late.

The sarcasm and dry humor in this show has me laughing. Did I miss any of your favorite quotes from Only Murders in the Building? Drop them in the comments below. I will continue to update the post each week as a new episode drops. 

If you need age recommendations, check out this Only Murders in the Building Parents Guide.

Oliver and Charles Quotes Only Murders in the Building

New Yorkers have a special way of communicating. And by special I mean direct. -Charles

It’s the boondocks you need to worry about. -Charles

Oh, you’re the other one, got it. -Oliver

I literally pass him in the elevator once a month, just so you know. -Charles

So go on ahead and enjoy your cute little lives and be glad that you still have one. -Cop

I’m totally migraining, you guys meet the sea witch without me. -Mabel

Yeah, you look pretty poor. -Tim

True Crime num-nuts. -Cop

I don’t tip. I think it’s elitist. I send out autographed photos instead. -Charles

Do you appeal to anybody? -Oliver
Not for years. -Charles

Who was Tim Kono? I’m gonna f-ing find out. -Mabel

Mabel Quotes Only Murders in the Building

You are scoring a murder mystery, not doing a hobbit’s wedding. -Oliver

Calls bother them for some reason. -Charles

I think our list of suspects just got longer. -Charles

I will burn it and snort the ashes like it’s 1982. -Oliver

Can I just stream it later and spare myself? -Mabel

I can’t tell if you’re acting or not. -Mabel
Oh, believe me, when he’s acting, you can tell. -Oliver

Gotta give Bunny her money. -Ursula

Who educated you? -Oliver

Rock icon Sting is a dog-poisoning murderer. He’s like the next O.J. – a hot Buddhist OJ. -Oliver

70 is the new 40. -Mabel
I want you to be less mean. -Charles
I know you do. -Mabel

Embrace the mess. That’s where the good stuff lives. -Cinda

No one ever brings anyone a turkey with bad intentions. 

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Only Murders in the Building Parents Guide
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