Have you seen Only Murders in the Building on Hulu? This true crime murder comedy has some funny and witty lines. Enjoy the best Only Murders in the Building quotes from Mabel, Charles, and Oliver.
Best Only Murders in the Building Quotes
Only Murders in the Building stars Selena Gomez, Steve Martin, and Martin Short as three strangers who share an obsession with true crime and suddenly find themselves wrapped up in one. When a gnarly death occurs inside their exclusive Upper West Side apartment building, the trio suspects murder and employs their precise knowledge of true crime to investigate the truth. Perhaps even more explosive are the lies they tell one another. Soon, the endangered trio comes to realize a killer might be living among them as they race to decipher the mounting clues before it’s too late.
The sarcasm and dry humor in this show has me laughing. Did I miss any of your favorite quotes from Only Murders in the Building? Drop them in the comments below. I will continue to update the post each week as a new episode drops.
If you need age recommendations, check out this Only Murders in the Building Parents Guide.
New Yorkers have a special way of communicating. And by special I mean direct. -Charles
It’s the boondocks you need to worry about. -Charles
Oh, you’re the other one, got it. -Oliver
I literally pass him in the elevator once a month, just so you know. -Charles
So go on ahead and enjoy your cute little lives and be glad that you still have one. -Cop
I’m totally migraining, you guys meet the sea witch without me. -Mabel
Yeah, you look pretty poor. -Tim
True Crime num-nuts. -Cop
I don’t tip. I think it’s elitist. I send out autographed photos instead. -Charles
Do you appeal to anybody? -Oliver
Not for years. -Charles
Who was Tim Kono? I’m gonna f-ing find out. -Mabel
You are scoring a murder mystery, not doing a hobbit’s wedding. -Oliver
Calls bother them for some reason. -Charles
I think our list of suspects just got longer. -Charles
I will burn it and snort the ashes like it’s 1982. -Oliver
Can I just stream it later and spare myself? -Mabel
I can’t tell if you’re acting or not. -Mabel
Oh, believe me, when he’s acting, you can tell. -Oliver
Gotta give Bunny her money. -Ursula
Who educated you? -Oliver
Rock icon Sting is a dog-poisoning murderer. He’s like the next O.J. – a hot Buddhist OJ. -Oliver
70 is the new 40. -Mabel
I want you to be less mean. -Charles
I know you do. -Mabel
Embrace the mess. That’s where the good stuff lives. -Cinda
No one ever brings anyone a turkey with bad intentions.
We blend in by sticking out. -Oliver
She’s too busy planning her next murder with Clyde. -Oliver
She can’t say anything so just chilling is code for “help, I’ve been taken hostage.” -Charles
It’s like a rainbow crafted by a drunken leprechaun. -Oliver
Every true crime story is actually true for someone. -Charles
You knew my phone settings. I’m not a rando. -Oliver
Women who knock rarely make history. -Mabel
Finale Spoilers
Get to know a fellow a little before he tells you how he died, right? -Tim Kono
You’re sleeping with a murderer! -Oliver
I’ve had worse injuries shucking oysters. -Oliver
Maybe this is why all the adults were so mean to Doogie Howser.
She’s a poisoner…who uses a label maker?
The saddest thing about this is that if Jan weren’t a murderous maniac, she’d be perfect for Charles.
Ironic and tragic. My bad. I do own that. -Jan
Sadly I will not be seeing you bassooner or later. -Jan
Boy you really don’t take the ride, do you? -Oliver
Welcome back, sexy thing! -Oliver