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The Funniest Clark Griswold Quotes from Christmas Vacation

The main star of the show in National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation is Clark Griswold. The head of the family just wants family togetherness during the most wonderful time of the year. However, sometimes Clark has had it and delivers the funniest dad jokes. Here are some of the best Clark Griswold quotes in Christmas Vacation!

Funny Clark Griswold Quotes in Christmas Vacation

As the holidays approach, Clark Griswold (Chevy Chase) wants to have a perfect family Christmas, so he pesters his wife, Ellen (Beverly D’Angelo), and children, as he tries to make sure everything is perfect, including the tree and house decorations. However, things begin to go downhill quickly, and at one point, Clark snaps!

Did I miss any of your favorite quotes from Clark Griswold in Christmas Vacation? Drop them in the comments below. Also enjoy these National Lampoons Christmas Vacation movie quotes from other characters in the film!

You think you might be overdoing it, dad? -Rusty
Russ, when was the last time I overdid anything? -Clark Griswold quotes Christmas Vacation

Eat my road grit, liver lips! -Clark Griswold quotes

Clark, Audrey’s frozen from the waist down. -Ellen
Ah, it’s all part of the experience honey -Clark

Petty Clark Griswold Quotes from Christmas Vacation

Dad, this tree won’t fit in our backyard. -Russ Griswold
It’s not going in our yard, Russ. It’s going in our living room. -Clark Griswold

It’s not big, it’s just…full. -Clark Griswold quotes

Hey Griswold, where do you think you’re are going to put a tree that big? -Todd
Bend over and I’ll show you. -Clark

There’s a lot of sap in here. Looks great. A little full. A lot of sap. -Clark

Christmas is about resolving differences and seeing through the petty problems of family life. -Clark

If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn’t be more surprised than I am right now. -Clark

Christmas Vacation Quotes from Clark Griswold

Honey, do you honestly think I would check thousands of tiny little lights if I didn’t make sure the extension cord was plugged in? -Clark

Hey, look kids, a deer! -Clark

The older boy, bless his soul, is preparing for his career. -Eddie
College? -Clark
Carnival. -Eddie
You gotta be proud. -Clark

I was just looking at something for my wife, God rest her soul. -Clark

I don’t know if I oughta go sailing down no hill with nothing between the ground and my brain but piece of government plastic. -Eddie
Do you really think it matters Eddie? -Clark

Where do you think you’re going? Nobody’s leaving. Nobody’s walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We’re all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. -Clark Griswold

Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead? -Clark

I was expecting a check, instead I got enrolled in a jelly club. -Clark Griswold

funny Clark Griswold Quotes

  • This isn’t charity, it’s family. -Clark
  • I didn’t go berserk. I simply solved a problem. -Clark

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